Diego Goes Exploring

The air is humid. Like, that nasty sticky kind of air that really gets ya. I hate it. But it’s one of those necessary evils you gotta deal with in a place like this.

Where am I? Middle of the jungle, of course. I’m currently searching for a rumored treasure that was hidden in a temple a long, long time ago. I’ve spent months poring over maps, clues, and any lead I can get my paws on, and the end is finally in sight. All that's left for me is a little hike through thick vegetation and exploring some ruins and then—

“Ack—” My paw slips out from under me and I tumble snout over tail down a steep ledge that I had failed to notice. I land face first in a muddy stream. I spit and sputter as I pull my head out of the water and attempt to collect my bearings.

The stream isn't that deep, but the thick mud that coats the bottom will definitely make it annoying to traverse. It’s fairly narrow, too. The real problem will probably be the walls; I have to crane my neck to see the top of them. Climbing out won’t be an option.

Wonderful.

I get to my feet and do my best to shake the water off my coat. It’s a futile effort, more instinct than anything. There’s clumps of mud stubbornly clinging to my hair, no amount of shaking gets them off. I huff. Those will definitely be annoying when they dry.

“Alright, Diego,” I say to nobody but myself, “you’ve been in worse situations, this ain’t anything to worry about.” I look in both directions that the stream travels, looking for an obvious exit. There’s nothing within my line of sight that would help my situation, so I have to choose a direction to travel and hope it’ll lead me out.

I hum as I carefully observe the water. It’s slow, but it definitely has a subtle flow to it. I start walking to the left, the direction that I’m fairly certain is upstream. Why did I choose to go upstream, you ask? Cause it felt right.

I'm an explorer, dang it, we go with our guts.

The thick mud coating the bottom of the stream bed makes each step harder than it should be. I huff as I have to retrieve a glove that the mud tried to steal from me. This stuff is awful, the sooner I can get out the better.

My progress is slow going and takes much longer than I would like, but gradually the mud thins as the flow of water picks up. Either I’m getting closer to a source, or the stream is about to widen. Whatever it is, the hope of a terrain change makes my tail start to wag.

I begin to hear the rush of water. It’s not a waterfall by any means, but it sounds just as glorious. I pick up my pace and round the next corner. I gasp in awe. In front of me is an absolutely gorgeous temple carved into the side of a rock face. There’s water streaming out of a few drainage structures in the front, pooling together and leading into the very stream I’ve spent the last who knows how long trudging through.

I bounce from paw to paw as I yip in excitement. Yeah, I’ll admit to letting out a few excited yips. I’ve been searching for this for forever, I’m allowed to get a little goofy about it.

I quickly make my way towards what looks to be the entrance. It has no door, just a gaping maw with a border of absolutely gorgeous carved stones. I reach into my backpack—waterproof, thank gosh—and pull out my camera. It’s time to do what I came here for.

Documentation!

I take a bunch of pictures of the entrance, and then carefully make my way inside. While traps aren’t nearly as prevalent as movies make them out to be, their are still a few documented cases. So I make sure to watch my step as I traverse the ancient ruins.

I come across an expertly carved lizard relief, with gemstone eyes. That gets quite a few photos. I get a couple more shots of the random architecture, their pillar work is quite spectacular. I pause for a whole fifteen minutes when I come to a beautiful central room with intricate carved floor channels and wall reliefs that seem to tell a story of some kind. I take as many pictures and notes as I can, but I leave deciphering the stories to the linguists back home. That’s way out of my league, I’ll let 'em have it.

“Interesting,” I say, noticing the acoustics of the room, “Hello! Echo!” I listen as my voice bounces around. I begin to whistle the Indiana Jones theme as I head towards the back wall to get a closer look at some odd stonework. It’s offset slightly, when compared to the rest of the wall. I pause my whistling and lean closer.

“Aha!” I feel a breeze across my nose, emanating from one of the cracks. There’s airflow back there, strong enough to make it through. I push on the wall gently and feel a little bit of give. I push harder, and the offset section slides away, revealing another passage. “Bingo!” I push my way into the passage, photos long forgotten. It’s narrow. Not so narrow that I’m at risk of getting stuck, but definitely narrow enough to be uncomfortable. The walls are undecorated. Purely utilitarian.

Also covered in cobwebs. Eugh.

I can see the tunnel widen in front of me and I slow my progress. There’s a gap in the floor that leads to a steep drop. I have no plans of going down there—one steep drop is enough for today, thank you very much. The gap is too far to jump, but there’s a vine hanging from the ceiling about halfway across.

You already know where I'm going with this. I didn't become an explorer by only making safe decisions, after all.

I don't hesitate to leap for the vine, grabbing onto it and swinging across. I’m extremely lucky it was able to hold my weight, honestly. Diego, king of making bad decisions that pay off in the long run.

The tunnel continues ahead of me and I waste no time shuffling through it. I can see a chamber at the end now, although I'm not close enough to get any details. I take another step, and I hear a click as the floor sinks beneath my paw.

“Shoot.”

I waste no time, bolting forwards and leaping into the room as I hear a crash behind me. I risk a glance over my shoulder and see that a heavy stone has crashed down in front of the doorway, effectively locking me inside.

“Ohhhhh. Uhhh. Ok. That’s a problem for future me,” I shake the dust and cobwebs off my coat and look around the room. It’s fairly spacious, circular in shape with depressions in the wall at symmetrical intervals around the room. Each depression holds a little statuette. I approach the nearest one and pull my camera out again, snapping a few more photos. I make my way around the room, stopping to get a good look at each statue. When I get to the one on the farthest wall I pause. The wall behind the statue looks… off. I gently move the statue to the side and lean in to get a better look. I rear back as the wall basically crumbles. I didn't even touch it, I swear!

Behind it is another chamber. I shimmy my way inside. “Hell yeah, baby! That’s what I’m talking about!” I cheer at the sight that greets me. Piles upon piles of treasure. Lining the walls, hanging from the ceiling, resting on stone plinths in the middle of the room, you name it. Each piece is intricately carved with master handiwork, heart and soul poured into the craftsmanship. I waste no time snapping away with my camera, I even take a few videos too.

I spend what must have been hours in the treasure room documenting everything before I realize what time it is. I’ve gotta start making my way back to base camp. I turn back towards the way I came in, shimmying my way back through the hole in the wall, before stopping dead in my tracks. The stone I had oh so conveniently forgotten about still blocked my path, too stubborn and disrespectful to move out of my way while I was busy.

“Shoot,” I shove myself back into the treasure room, “Gotta find a different way out.”

I’ve seen National Treasure, the builders always have to have a back door exit. I survey the room and notice a water feature at the back. It's fairly small and unassuming, hence why I missed it until now. There seems to be a hole at the bottom that leads into the wall.

“Mhhhh,” I really don't want to go swimming, but there’s no other option to explore, “hhhhhhhhffffine. Fine. Ok. Yeah, whatever,” I huff, shoving my camera into my backpack and making sure it’s thoroughly zipped up, “might as well drown instead of starving to death or running out of air. I don't care.” I really don't like swimming in enclosed spaces, let me tell you. Cave diving is like, my number one fear. So i cannot overstate how much of a nightmare this is. The hole at the bottom leads into a tunnel, and I navigate through it as fast as possible. Thankfully the universe is merciful, and I am very promptly spat out into the same stream I found myself wading through all those hours ago.

“Oh sweet baby rays,” I let the water run over me for a moment before getting up. It’s dark out, but the sun is rising. I’ve been in the temple all night, and I can feel it wearing on me. I pull out a compass and map and begin plotting the course back to base camp. I can’t wait to take a nice long nap. I think I deserve it.